Self-Help Practice 3:
Let Go of Worries and Physical Tensions
Let's review briefly. When you first
notice yourself obsessing, begin by accepting it. Then choose either
to postpone the obsession or modify the way you are obsessing.
After you have done either of those two,
then your next task is to let go of those worries and return to your
daily activities. If you're like most people, you will become
physically tense and anxious when you try to stop these
thoughts, so you also need to let go of those tensions.
There's two steps to
take at this point. The first is to decide to stop the
intrusive thoughts or images and reinforce your decision with
positive statements to yourself. Mentally support yourself by saying
such things as, "That thought isn't helpful to me right now; now
is not the time to think about this; this is irrational, I'm going to
let it go; I'm not about to argue with this thought." Literally
sub-vocalize this kind of statement, and help yourself believe your
own words. Don't just mentally recite lines you don't hold to be true.
Before you practice any of these options,
be sure that you are really committed to getting rid of the
particular worries you are addressing. Make this decision
during a time when you are not in the throes of your
obsessions--when you are feeling relatively calm and can gain
perspective. Make sure this is a firm decision. Then choose an
automatic response that reflects your position. For instance, you
might decide that the next time you notice that you're worrying, you
will write down, verbatim, every thought that comes into your mind
until you start repeating your statements. Then you will tell
yourself, "I know these worries are irrational. I'm ready to move
on now."
So the first step in letting go of your
obsessions is to make this clear and committed statement of intent.
The second is to practice some brief
relaxation technique. There are a few simple straightforward
breathing skills that can be used at this time to help with letting go
of your tensions. In the Don't
Panic Self-Help Kit, I have created a separate tape to help you
practice those skills. When you are ready to learn them, listen two or
three times to the tape entitled "Practicing Your Breathing
Skills." Your ability to relax your body on cue in a brief period
of time may require some repetition of these skills. So once you learn
the breathing skills--like the Calming Breath or Calming Counts--
practice them 10 - 15 times a day for several weeks. They take less
than a minute and a half to practice. So use them during times of
transition, such as right after you get off the phone or while waiting
in the car at a stoplight. Then they will be ready for you during
tense times.
Again, let me advise you to use breathing
skills to help you when you are letting go of your obsessions and
trying to relax your body and quiet your mind. They are a very helpful
part of your program. So if you are using the Kit, start listening to
the breathing skills tape in the next day or two, and learn to apply
those techniques.
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